Christmas is coming and Alice is getting fat.
Thats better. Yes you guessed it, it's that time of year where I am squeeeeeezing into my favourite party dresses and just by looking at cakes is piling on the pounds.
Tonight I took the almighty step in attending fat fighters once again. The dreaded talk. The dreaded class. The dreaded weigh in. Not only am I 5lb heavier than when I originally joined but I am officially a.fat.fuck.
The class was filled with old and new faces. Old faces, still on the same weight but coming back week in week out with the same chubby disappointed faces on them. This time, I don't feel the motivation of getting back into it for a healthy lifestyle, I now feel like it is almost life or death. The shamu of the whale family. The T-Rex of the Dinosaur family. And finally that little round fat Christmas pudding of the cup cake family. There we go again thinking of food at every chance I get.
Little Betty still can't understand why after her 4 takeaways this week she has had a weight gain (good choices of course), GOOD CHOICES? What by leaving it in the container till it grows mouldy and not eating it at all?
My favourite moment tonight: I'm big boned. No lovely, your overweight.
My instructions to my friends: From now on they cannot refer to me by my name, but simply by the name 'Fatty' all the way up till Christmas. Anything else, they will not get a response. What will this bring you may ask? Well what do you think it will bloody bring...a cake? A McDonalds? A Subway? NO. Ok a few tears and tantrums waaaaaaah, but worth it in the end guys when I'm so skinny we will be walking down the street and I disappear....down the drain pipe. Not really an ideal goal, but my real goal? ... Is to lose a roll.
I'm gonna eat the shit out of those lettuce leaves.
Fat Alice x
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