Walking in a Wedding Wonderland

Sunday evening I attended the Wedding of two very special people, two people whom had been waiting a long time for their special day. As the night arrived, it got me thinking about my own Prince Charming, not the cartoon kind, riding in on his white horse with perfect hair, and a rose which you can practically smell from inside your TV, but the standard Joe Blog waiting to meet his erm...Princess Fiona. This is the first name that popped into my head, until I realised that it was the ugly ginger one from Shrek. Brilliant.

Arriving at the Wedding, although an intimate affair and more chance of pulling a muscle than a young bachelor, I still decided to give my face justice and try my hardest to look like a girl. Thinking I’d done a good job, I walked into the beautiful party with a spring in my step. It wasn’t long before I had spotted the bar, and felt a bit of Dutch courage wouldn’t go a miss to show all of these party people that in the words of Maroon 5...I got the moves like Jagger. After failing to show off any of my secret moves, I suddenly decide it’s time to bring the big guns out with non other than........THE CONGAAAAAAAAAA!! Doo doo doo, come on and do the conga.

Oh. Dear. Lord

The DJ never fails to recognise Uncle Knobhead at the party (being me), and after asking for my name (ok, yeh so I did think it meant he was hitting on me) then decided to let everyone know, that I was the person to thank for the God awful song. Not to mention standing on the Brides dress as we carelessly ran around the building. Swiftly moving on from this.

The gorgeous affair not only had a DJ for the later party, but began with a cute little orchestra, playing the country sounds, you know how it goes. The little old singer had everyone up, dancing round in partners, and as us single ladies do, take along our girl-friends. Oh Goody I thought a simple circle dance. It wasn’t long until I realised that well one of us had to be the boy in traditional country dancing. You guessed it, “Ladies to the left, Gentlemen to the right”. Fuck. Even this little old man can spot my boyish ways a mile off. I had been caught out and my plot to be a girl for the night had fallen, back to the drawing board for me. Ah well, it had to be an unlucky day, after all, I stood in dog shit that very morning.

Hopefully I will have more luck next time. And where the bloody hell is my Prince Charming???