Disaster No1
It was a late Thursday afternoon, and my car share was off on her jollies for the week, leaving me to fend for myself, i.e. Get the train to and from work. A simple task you may think. Think again.
My day MUST have been hard, and an overuse of the ole brain had taken place leaving me exhausted. A little sleep wouldn't hurt right?!
A few minutes later (in my eyes) actually 55 minutes and 43 seconds of snoring and I am being woken by a loud 'AHEM' quick wipe of the dribble and I shoot straight up to find the train wardens surrounding me.
"Excuse me love, are you aware of the Act 4598984629038545345 set before even Dinosaurs existed of putting your feet up on the train" Ok, so I made the figures up, but surprisingly to some I hadn't read the train guidelines before I set off on my journey. "I'm really sorry I didn't know about the act" - Major sucking up Act 1,234 of the Alice law. I knew this wasn't going to wash. I could tell by his screwed up expression, his mate felt sorry for me, but I didn't even get chance to give him the puppy dog eyes before Mr Screw Face had whipped out his notepad from his jacket. A very dirty jacket may I add.
After taking all my details and me giving my excuse that I had been on my feet all day. FAT LIE. I was definitely sat on my arse, at my desk, all day. I was given a fine. £50. Two nights out in my eyes. WTF?? It doesn't end here. I might have accidently misplaced the letter resulting in two follow up letters 'getting lost', then followed by a summons to court. Absolutely fabulous. I am now a criminal.
Along with my summons to court I received a copy of the details and statement he took on the day of the 'criminal offence'. Scrolling across the details, hardly your typical criminal description, Pink Hoody, Converse, Jeans, I stumbled across the category Style: (in his dirty doctor writing) Strange. Fucking strange. I may have wardrobe mishaps and malfunctions but its not bloody strange. I have asked people to take a look and their laughter became the confirmation. Fantastic.
Alice. Style: Strange
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