Don’t think I have quite recovered from the festivities yet, but thought it was about time I shared my NYR. They aren’t really that hard to think of, I use the same ones every year.
- New job
- New man – standard
- Give up alcohol, smoking and eating. At all.
Although, I’m not keeping my hopes up for 2012, it’s meant to be the end. Until then I can keep being an alcoholic, sexaholic (try) and extreme drama Queen, until told not to.
On reflection of last year, I have nothing to say but, SCREW YOU 2011. You brought me a whole 6lb heavier, celibacy and absolutely nothing to shout about. This year maybe you could at least fulfil any of the above, so that I don’t grow an old sarcastic spinster with 7 cats. Or even better all of the below.
2012 Wish list
- 73 stone weight loss
- A voucher for Specsavers – no more beer goggles
- An allergy to alcohol – prevents liver failure and many a bruised ego
- New job – something I don’t want to stick needles in my eyes would be fine
- A voice that sounds as amazing as I do in the shower
- A loan for £456,459,345.00 to clear my debts
- A need to take more care of my monobrow – just realised its not a great look
- Stop being a sarcastic bitch
- Finally, the most important of all, act like a lady. Not a lager lout, ladette or little boy, a young lady who does not wish everyone to look upon her as a lesbian.
All the best for 2012, may it be as interesting as I know mine will be.
Lady Alice x
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