Bending Trends

Considering when starting this blog, I swore it would have nothing to do with fashion, but the more I think about the idiotic things I have done, the more I realize the extent of my fashion de-za-sters!

I’m not talking your average double denims....

The first...

Muffin Top – Major. Size. Denial. When your jeans are too tight and you use a top to cover the middle doughnut. Sometimes this can also be passed off as a rubber ring, but let’s be realistic you don’t spend all your life in the swimming baths, therefore it is highly unlikely you will get away with this.

Builders Bum – Again, buying hipster jeans (something made for sizes 0/4/6) bending down to stroke the little pussy and BOOM the moon has risen. Or if you have a rear the size of a baby hippo like mine, you may find your French holiday friends nick naming you ‘La Lune’ – which for those of you who do not speak French this means, the moon.

Sleek Chic – Oh yes. That time in High School when it was the ‘in’ thing to get a cupped hand full of gel and slap it on your head leaving the wet effect. Not forgetting to leave the too random pieces of hair at the front to appear ‘sexy’, the two pieces which may I add, serve no purpose in the hairstyle what-so-ever.

White Top Black Bra Scenario – what girl hasn’t, right?

Fanny Pack – Forced Fashion by the rents on a holiday in Devon, but as a teenager finding the word Fanny highly amusing.

Holier than thou – Huge gaping hole in your tights. I would advise not to try and do a roley poley in the middle of the club, or the splits for that matter. People do not pay to see the sun shining from between your legs!!!

MASSIVE COFFEE STAIN ON YOUR WHITE SHIRT. Feck.

Dress tucked in knickers – Freshers Beach Party. A time in your life where you want to make the best impression possible. A new independent woman, dancing to impress...with her dress tucked inside her knickers! Look away if your eating your breakfast.... The following image is a real life photo taken moments before the realisation that I am an absolute idiot, and will never meet a man with stunts like this...

So thats me Alice, on Fashion for now. Tune in every now and then for Fashionasters. Goodnight.