Sunday, 2 October 2011

Hair today, gone Tomorrow!

 Everyone remembers the nursery rhyme ‘The wheels on the bus’. One of the versus was always my favourite as a girl...

‘This is the way we brush our hair, brush our hair, brush our hair, this is the way we brush our hair, early in the morning.’

Today, it’s more like... this is the way we back comb, spray, tie, extend and rag our hair, rag our hair, rag our hair, this is the way we rag our hair, to make us look half decent!

Being a child was so easy; all we had to worry about was who we are going to play with in the playground, or who has the best Barbie or who has the nicest bobbles. I suppose I never really had to worry about looking like a girl, thanks to my mum sticking a bowl on my head and cutting round it. Not to mention the fact I had no teeth for a long time, so my elder days came too early, and I tended to look like a little old man at the age of 5.

But there is something worse than deciding how to do your hair for a night out...

Hair. Down there. Every-girls-nightmare. The make or break of a date. The unexpected night of passion with a leg like a Gorilla. The ever growing garden down below. YES. The same stressful decisions to be made on the style of your vagina hair, as your head of hair:
  • ·      The Afro – self explanatory
  • ·       The Arrow – for Guys needing to expand their names to ‘Guidance’
  • ·        The Brazilian – apparently a landing strip? For all the planes flying around your vagina???
  • ·        The Charlie Chaplin – I must admit, this one intrigues me the most. Can’t imagine asking for it, may have to be a try at home style. Basically a tash on the gash.
  • ·        The Hollywood – Zilch. Zippo. Nada. NOTHING. Not a single pubey there.
  • ·        The Mohawk – or translated in Japanese モヒカン族 this again is self explanatory.
  • ·        The Patchouli – Or as I like to call it ‘The single style’. All over the place. Au naturelle. MASSIVE BUSH.
  • ·        The Princess Cut – The oval shaped style, quite like American or Rugby balls. Recommended to sluts, those who love a ball permanently on their privates.


Once this is decided, you are definitely ready to rumble. Literally. Guys don’t realise how easy they have it!!!

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